What He Must Be: Can’t Find One…Build One

My favorite chapter in Voddie Baucham’s new book, What He Must Be…if He Wants to Marry My Daughter, is the last one, entitled, “Can’t Find One…Build One.” Citing studies that indicate that the adults in typical U.S. churches are comprised of 61% female and 39% male along with evidence that as many as 90% of the young men being raised in church will quit altogether by the time they reach 20, Baucham calls fathers of boys to invest themselves in the effort of raising godly young men.

The way that I have approached this concern with my own son and with other young men through the years is to challenge them to become the kind of men that the kind of women they hope to marry would desire to have as husbands. Fathers are called to be disciplers of their children (Ephesians 6:4) and a necessary part of that calling is for dads to teach their sons how to prepare to become husbands and fathers. Granted, some may called by God to permanent singleness, but they will be the exceptions, not the rule.

When Voddie writes about this issue he does so with biblical insights that have been forged in the furnace of being raised fatherless. There is no false idealism here, only the the passionate plea of a pastor and father who well-understands the challenges that are facing young men in our sexually confused culture. He challenges fathers of daughters to invest in young men to help them become marriageable.

We cannot expect young men in our culture to turn up as ready-made husbands. Our culture is broken. As a result, young men are broken. They do not have the tools they need. This is not always due to a lack of spiritual commitment. It is usually a result of a lack of teaching and discipleship. They just don’t know what they dont know. As a result, fathers have to consider the possibility that they may, in a very real way, have to build their own son-in-law. Of course, this is not a problem for men with a multigenerational vision who view the work as an investment i their children’s children (193).

This counsel is appropriate not only for men with daughters, but for all men who are thinking about the generations to follow. It is sound counsel for churches who should look for ways to evangelize, challenge and disciple the future men the Lord entrusts to them.

Tom Ascol has served as a Pastor of Grace Baptist Church in Cape Coral, FL since 1986. Prior to moving to Florida he served as pastor and associate pastor of churches in Texas. He has a BS degree in sociology from Texas A&M University (1979) and has also earned the MDiv and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft. Worth, Texas. He has served as an adjunct professor of theology for various colleges and seminaries, including Reformed Theological Seminary, the Covenant Baptist Theological Seminary, African Christian University, Copperbelt Ministerial College, and Reformed Baptist Seminary. He has also served as Visiting Professor at the Nicole Institute for Baptist Studies at Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, Florida. Tom serves as the President of Founders Ministries and The Institute of Public Theology. He has edited the Founders Journal, a quarterly theological publication of Founders Ministries, and has written hundreds of articles for various journals and magazines. He has been a regular contributor to TableTalk, the monthly magazine of Ligonier Ministries. He has also edited and contributed to several books, including Dear Timothy: Letters on Pastoral Ministry, The Truth and Grace Memory Books for children and  Recovering the Gospel and Reformation of Churches. He is also the author of From the Protestant Reformation to the Southern Baptist ConventionTraditional Theology and the SBC and Strong and Courageous. Tom regularly preaches and lectures at various conferences throughout the United States and other countries. In addition he regularly contributes articles to the Founders website and hosts a weekly podcast called The Sword & The Trowel. He and his wife Donna have six children along with four sons-in-law and a daughter-in-law. They have sixteen grandchildren.
Get Founders
in Your Inbox
A weekly brief of our new teaching resources.

"*" indicates required fields

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

SEARCH ARTICLES
Teaching BY TYPE
Teaching BY Author
Founders Podcasts